Congrats on beginning your journey to healing!

If you’re reading this, it means you’re probably looking for a queer friendly or LGBTQ+ affirming counselor and you’re wondering how to get the process started.

Shopping for a counselor—whether you’re new to therapy or not—almost always feels daunting, even on a good day.

Navigating our confusing healthcare system, choosing a counselor from a long list of faces, and then taking the plunge and scheduling that first appointment can be a lot when you’re already in an emotionally vulnerable place.

When you’re LGBTQ+, odds are that you’ve dealt with your fair share of unpredictable homophobia, transphobia, or microaggressions in healthcare settings. Beginning counseling can feel extra scary when you don’t know what that first appointment might be like.

No worries! There’s a counselor out there for you and we’re going to help you find them.

Today, we’ll look at why it’s so important to find a “good fit” in counseling and detail what questions you should ask when you’re trying to pick the right counselor for you.

Here’s Why Vibing With Your Counselor is So Important to Your Healing, Especially for LGBTQ+ Folks

You and your counselor need to get along. Like REALLY get along. Not only is it going to make your experience a lot more pleasant to have a counselor who gets you, it’s going to actually be instrumental to your healing progress.

You wouldn’t want to share intensely personal stuff with someone you didn’t like, right?

Right.

Counseling is no different.

Therapists actually have a special word for a natural, positive flow in sessions: “therapeutic alliance.”

Sure, a strong “therapeutic alliance” means good vibes between you and your counselor, but it’s actually a lot more than that.

When you have a strong therapeutic alliance with your counselor, you don’t just feel understood, seen, and appreciated for who you are—you actually get better faster.

Yup, finding a counselor who gets you is actually a key ingredient to your healing, especially for LGBTQ+ folks.

Here’ 5 questions you’ll want to ask to help you determine if your queer affirming counselor is a good it.

Question #1: “What experience do you have working with the LGBTQ+ community in Portland?”

No experience in the community = lots of time wasted explaining LGBTQ culture and experience. You want your therapist to already know a little bit about what you’re going through, right?

This is an obvious one, but if they can’t give you a good answer here, that’s a huge red flag. The only good answer here for most of us is: “a lot” and/or “I am queer/trans/lesbian/etc.” Unfortunately, most counseling programs don’t offer specific training in LGBTQ+ cultural competency, so don’t assume that all counselors are qualified to work with issues that are unique to queer folks.

Real-world experience is what you’re looking for here.

Question #2: “What’s your treatment approach?”

You can sometimes find this information on counselor bio pages or clinic websites (like ours).

You’ll find that there are lots of different types of therapy and schools of thought for what good counseling should look like.

If you see a treatment term you don’t understand, ask for more information or Google it.

If you have a type of counseling you already know you want, make that a criteria in your search.

Question #3: “I struggle with _____, do you have experience working with that?”

Find out if your prospective LGBTQ+ affirming counselor has experience dealing with your particular issue or issues.

No counselor knows everything about every problem/condition/struggle.

Ask prospective therapists directly about any specific struggles you want to address in counseling.

If they don’t feel comfortable or knowledgeable working with a particular issue, a good counselor will refer you to someone else who can help.

Question #4: “Do you accept client feedback?”

Does your prospective LGBTQ+ counselor accept feedback? How do they handle tense or awkward situations? It’s good to know in advance.

No counselor is perfect.

Eventually, no matter how great your counselor is, they will say or do something that doesn’t land right with you.

When that happens, it’s good to know how they want to handle it ahead of time.

A good queer affirming counselor should give you space to speak up in appointments so you can advocate for what you need.

It’s important that you feel empowered in sessions. This is your healing journey and your input is vital.

Question #5: “Can we do a 15-20 minute phone interview so I can make sure this is a good fit for me?”

Shopping for an LGBTQ+ affirming counselor in Portland? DEFINITELY catch them on the the phone for a few minutes to see if you vibe before you commit to an appointment.

Finding a good counselor for you is a numbers game.

Don’t hesitate to ask for a phone interview to ask questions.

Share what you’re looking for and get a feel for what the counselor is like in conversation. A quick phone convo is really the fastest way to do a vibe check with a prospective counselor.

Portland, We’re Here to Help You Find an LGBTQ+ Affirming Therapist

At Full Spectrum PDX, we believe LGBTQ+ folks do better in therapy when they are supported from within the community.

That’s why all of our LGBTQ+ affirming clinicians are queer and/or trans themselves.

See if one of our therapists is a good fit for you.