This article is part of a series on the impacts of hormone replacement therapy (HRT), designed to help our clients (and others!) prepare for possible changes they may experience as they begin their hormone journeys.
During transition, many people are eager for hormonal changes to take place rapidly- understandably so. Most people anticipate physical changes from hormones, but it is just as important to prepare for the emotional changes that may occur.
Puberty is a roller coaster of emotions, and the second puberty you will experience during your transition is no exception.
What kinds of emotional state changes can you expect, and when should you expect to see them?
Initially, any changes in hormones may cause emotional ups and downs— you may find yourself crying more easily at sad movies, getting angry for no specific reason, or feeling more short-tempered than before. Rest assured, these experiences are typical and will likely pass once your transition is a bit further along.
Once your hormones have leveled out, you may find that you have access to a narrower range of emotions or feelings, even finding it harder to cry than before. Many people welcome the leveling of emotions, while others feel that it is a loss to no longer have access to a wider range of feelings.
Some people develop different interests, tastes, or pastimes, finding that the new hormone balance in their body causes them to seek joy in different areas than before. That doesn’t mean you’ll be a different person! In fact, it may be possible that the changes in your body are simply helping you feel more confident doing things you wish you had done before— such as going to the gym, hiking solo, and more.
Some transgender folks witness changes in the dynamics of their relationships with other people. This could be because gender roles in families are set a certain way, and a change in gender expression or presentation shifts those dynamics a bit. Others find themselves more or less attracted to certain types of people, including those of different genders, body types, or other characteristics than pre-transition.
It is not uncommon for a transgender person to go through a period of mourning or grief— this does not mean you are not “really” transgender or should stop your transition. It simply means that hormonal transition can have a finality to it; starting testosterone can mean the end of something that one was and the beginning of a mysterious new future. It can feel like officially embarking on a life that is more unknown than that of a non-transgender person. Make space for those feelings and find someone to talk to about them.
Take time to learn new things about yourself, and sit with new or unfamiliar feelings and emotions while you explore and familiarize yourself with them. While therapy is not for everyone, many people find that working with a therapist while in transition (and after) can help you to explore these new thoughts and feelings, get to know your new body and self, and help you with things like coming out to family, friends, or coworkers, and developing a greater level of self-love and acceptance.
